I haven’t posted here in a little while, and for that, I apologize. I’ve been busy working on my novel, Cydonia, and my Independent Digital Publishing House, Work Of Hart Publications. It keeps me sane to work on “perfecting the pastimes I have harbored, based solely on the fact that it makes me smile if it sounds dope” [thank you Aesop Rock for the line]. But that’s sort of what this blog is about isn’t it? Sanity, and how well I attain and maintain mine.
Well. Today I am maintaining my grip by a finger, and that finger is getting tired.
My mood and mind shouldn’t be in such a poor state. I’ve accomplished one of my current primary goals, finding employment. I got a job at a “Luxury” Bowling Alley in Leesburg. [basically just means that the establishment has some regular lanes, a VIP lane section and a “high roller” suite. In addition, there is a very nice lounge/bar, another bar that is sealed & ventilated for smoking and you get servers who come to your lane while you’re bowling to serve you food and alcohol – it’s a pretty neat place I guess] So, job – check. Next on the list, get through my court case and get back to my life. But wait…what’s this? You mean the courts have decided to push back my court date for another month and a half for no apparent reason? The nerve of some people.
I’m angry to say the least. As a condition of my case, I have to see a pretrial officer once a week, which is a pain in my ass. Not only does she count my medication like I’m a fucking child, but she “randomly” drug screens me [it’s not random, it’s every three visits]. The whole concept of “pretrial” is ludicrous. It’s essentially saying “guilty until proven innocent”, rather than the other line they feed us in grade school civics and government classes. It’s the biggest bunch of bullshit I’ve ever had to deal with. Pretrial is honestly worse than rehab, and I believe I’ve expressed my distaste for how addiction treatment is handled. I mean, if your success rate has been 10% for more than 60 years, wouldn’t you investigate different means of treatment? It’s true, on average, one in ten will stay sober. The other nine will relapse. Of course the counselors say that research is being done all the time to find better methods, but they misunderstand the point. They are seeking different techniques within the same context. What is needed is a new paradigm of thought concerning addiction altogether.
But that’s not my complaint today. No, today I’m knocking “The System” and the people who serve it. The System I am currently concerned with, is the American Government [local, state & federal]. But I am primarily concerned with the global system, of which, America is just a piece, albeit a large one.
My issue is as old as this country itself. We’re taught that we are free individuals. We have glorious democracy, which makes everyone equal. But it doesn’t. What it does is make the appearance of equality. Though at the end of the day, “they” [the system’s minions] don’t trust us. They don’t trust us to maintain order among ourselves. More importantly, they don’t want us to create our own order. Because they, are nothing more than narcissistic egomaniacal children with power tools instead of the tonka toys they should have.
So, I am powerless. They hold all the cards. I can be jerked around until their heart is content. Complete and utter bullshit.
The ALTER EGO _ 